December. We are in December.
I am mourning the days that pass just as much as I am cheering them on. They flies much like the scenes I drive daily in the figure 8 of my routine. I can sort of catch what's going on in my periphery and yet not enough to take it and really, really look.
I wonder if this is how it's supposed to be, as a mother of four, spouse of a very busy dude, student and writer and all of those things that make up this five foot frame of mine. I read blogs and self-help books and all those crazy memes about slowing down. Great ideas--absolutely! Realistic? Maybe not. Especially not if you have goals that you have down deep in your belly that you are so yearning to accomplish. Because it's the path to these goals that matter right? And if you're not moving down the path...then...what?
Not to say that I don't love this all, because I do. I really really do. But I ask myself...
What is this thing we call balance? Balance--what I've talked about the last over-five years on this blog--the thing I am seeking and what I know so many of my girlfriends are frantically searching alongside me. Is there such a thing? Or is it just a misnomer, and instead of balance, there are simply, priorities we have to get right?
Because frankly, it is the imbalance sometimes that leads people to that pinnacle of what they seek. And on a day to day basis, it's the priorities--the fires we have to put out--that rules. Some days, it's all going to be about the kids, other days it will just be for me, and others will be a mish-mash of what I call nothingeverything.
Now, with Christmas just a couple of weeks away, I wonder how I can be smarter when I prioritize. Some of you might have seen this video about golf balls in a jar, and I've seen it a million times before. Today, it struck me especially as I've focused and lamented and fussed about what to buy and for whom. To get the Christmas lights just right (that it's working at least!), or the dress ordered, the menu set. Stuff that matters and don't matter, really.
Because the golf balls -- the priorities mustn't change.
The rest are stones, and pebbles, and sand and water that fit in the jar. But golf balls first.
It's the only way the other stuff I also really really want can fit.
Have a peaceful Sunday! Get those golf balls in first too!